I am an engineering student and this story tells u that how a man should not be a saddist to a girl and also not to play with her feelings. I know there will be some mistakes in my English but any how i wanted to share...
During my teen of 18 there was a girl opposite to my uncles house ,her house is at her terrace though they lived and living in a single room,i and my friends use to be in my uncles terrace often, i use to see that girl daily studying and one day i and my friend kept a bet that who is gonna be a friend with that girl..We wre showing our hands together for a week n after a week she got fixed to me and my friend was angry on me and one day he proposed that girl in my name , finally she accepted to love me and this matter came to me after a month i shouted at my friends that she is a good girl....For 2 years i din have a touch with her because of my studies and i stopped goin to my uncles house often and when ever i go there i use to see that girl purchasing in a provision shop just a smile she use to give and even i ... In between gap of my first year college one girl loved me and even i did the same after she proposed , she left me at the end of my first year i was totally depressed..I came out fo that depression after few months .In that time one of my friend near my uncles house gave my mobile number to that girl who stayed in the opposite terrace form the time she called i was loving her only for the time pass and her love is dam true on me , she use to message me at night in a descent manner but i spoiled her by teaching about all the sexuall activities..First time i kissed her near her home side , she did all the activities thinking me as her husband and i did all the activities thinking her as a worker with fake love(See what a character i am) i use to take her out not for entertainment but for using her like a worker.. Many times i use to leave her by telling her that iam in a problem, i cant marry u anymore and also i use to change my mobile numbers to avoid her without no reason... And also again and again even after changing the number i use to approach her when ever i get into that sexuall feel,i use to tease her often and made her to cry many times ..She cried many times but i wont be bothering..And this year 2009 feb i started to love her sincerly even she knows that at the same time i use to tease her and behaved like a saddist..Again i thought to leave her without no reason and started to avoid her slowly in the month of june that is during my B.E completion again i changed my number and used the old number rarely to talk with her ..A week before joining M.E that is on 27th july evening i called her from my old number inorder to tell that i have joined M.E. But her voice was low and she created a distance with me, i asked her the reason but she replied that she has a problem and cant narrate it now . I have started calling her often after joining my M.E. but she maintained the same distance i got tensed and scolded her a lot with abusing words that is on her birthday july 31st even i dont know her birth date but for the past 4 years she use to wish me correctly on my birthday..After her birthday also i used to call her often but she never answered my call there started a pain in me and i became mad on her i cried many times to her but she never turned to me, one fine monday i was sitting in the class and started to cry ,my friends adviced me to cut the class and to go and met her.I did according to their advice and went to her area but i cant able to talk though people are strict in that area and also i informed her that i am coming to meet her ,she said no and finally i convinced her .She got down from her college bus ,walked slowly according to my wish ,waited at the street ends for few seconds she saw me and then she went to her home...In that evening i called her she attened my call i was begging and crying to her like anything she said that she doesnt want to suffer again and also she has problem in her college and also in her home,she also said that she doesnt want to tell anything at present and finally she said that her past made her to change , she dont want anything she said... I cried to her a lot but finally she said that " first concentrate on your studies and then we will decide our future"(see how selfish am i) thats what she told that "How selfish u r ? u need me to talk and love u like before and you wont be seeing my situations and the only thing is your problem should be solved" And finally i came to a conclusion and told her that i have understood all u said but i will be waiting for you and i know you wont leave me.. That was my last call to her on monday. After that i din disturb her for a week but i had that pain it became serious and made me to attempt sucide in my college because i cant able to bare the pain each and every second it was a hell time for me one of my friend saw my attempt gave me a slap.Every body adviced me after that sequence even my friends near my uncles house.. They told me to leave her though she dosnt suits for me , her family is worst except her and also her elder sister ran away from her home regarding love, her father is very strict and he wont accept...I thought deeply about my family and also her family it wont suit . My family will accept my love though i dont have father my mom is the only person for me and because of her i am living a rich and luxurious life, If i marry that girl my mom will be feeling inside and especially my society will see me as a joker and it will automatically separate us.. I thought these things and prepared to leave her ... Even now she is keep on rolling in my mind, i feel the pain all the time and i use to get up in the morning with the pain ..I have realized a lot and lot and i am trying to become a good person now..God thought me a good lession even though i worship him..Hereafter i wont disturb that girl and i know she still loves me but she controlls her self but one day she will come again i know but i will advice her truely to concentrate on her studies...Even know i can make that girl to change her mind to me but if our love continues deelpy we cant able to face the consequences though i mentioned before and this is the right chance for me to leave her...Its all my mistake and i am responsible for all and thats what i am suffering now......
With pain ABUFAIZAL
